Scadalous/ Wednesday, July 19
like wad Minz said in her blog...when u listen to songs..and when the cheoro complements it...sumtimesss...u feel itt...izzit because the dancer's good? and he/she is able to bring out the feel?..u like the song cuz it's popular?..or izzit because the lyrics of the song juz speak to u..production is nearing..and i dun seem to find any reason to be happiee..(dun ask me y..)..sum songs i hear..feels like it's killing me softly inside..i guess i noe the reason y..sumtimes it's agonising...cuz it feels like the lyrics is speaking rudely into my face..yet sumtimes i juz noee..that i haf to overcome it..sumhoww..but..how??
but is this the reason y..i dread to step into the studio?..i dread the kinda heavy feeling..i dread to see ppl dancing..i dread to hear the songs..i dread the feel of the surroundings..and yaa..i dunnoe is this gonna last..i dunnoe how long i can take thiss...my emotions are all mixed and messed up in my head..and my brain's juz not workin with my heart...sumtimes i juz dun feel it anymore..and when i do..it's almost alwaes negativee for u...stop telling mee i'm thinking too much..stop telling me u do..when i can still see and feel..while others can sense too..things i wanna do..i can't..the outcome i wan it to bee..i can't bring myself to..am i realli happiee?? sumtimes i wunder..and sumone plz get me outta this..
wad do i realli wan? wad if i sae..i'm starting to seek comfort sumwhere else besides ur heart..everytime i feel it..it's like u're pushing me to find shelter sumwhere else..and it's where i kinda feel happier sumhow..and this whole thing...is juz not fair to anyone..not u..not me..not anyone else..wad if for every hr u love sumone...u feel a day's pain..will u still choose to love with a dying heart?
indulgence in the wee hrs 0f..
8:42:00 AM
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